bibliodragon

Title: You Scratch My Back...
Characters: Mulder/Scully
Spoilers: Set sometime after the second movie.
Rating: Gen
Words: 338

A cow's head staring at her was not something Scully wanted to see first thing when she got home from a long hospital shift. It was sitting beside a blue cooler, on top of a pile of newspapers. It dripped.

"Mulder, why is there a cow's head defrosting on the table?"

"The postage was too expensive for the whole corpse."

God damn eBay! It was one thing when he kept adding porn to the collection she let him believe she didn't know about, but this was getting ridiculous.

"Dare I ask why you would want a dead cow?"

A lot of talk about cow mutilations in Arkansas. She really wanted to just sit down and relax, but had to admit it was nice to see him look excited. Even if it was about dead cows.

"Look, you can see that there are unusual wounds on the forehead here, looks surgical. Maybe the put an implant in it's brain."

"You must really be bored."

He smiled at her. "Hey, if I can't go to the X File, I'll bring the X File to me."

"Alright fine." She turned away so he wouldn't see the flicker of amusement on her face. "You knock yourself out."

Even before she turned back to look at him she knew he was doing his charming face at her. "Mulder, no, I just want to have a bath!"

"Scully, I need you on this, I can't do autopsies-"

"On a cow head!"

"Granted, it's a little unorthodox, but I think transporting human bodies through the US postal system is frowned upon. Oh come on Scully. In return I'll do anything you want me to."

She raised an eyebrow. "Anything?"

“Anything.” He smiled suggestively.

Knowing he was talking about sex, she made him do the dishes. She could get him to do the other stuff anyway.

She did find some metal fragments in the cows head, but they turned out to be from the front bumper of a Honda Civic. Mulder dropped and broke a plate.