Ficlet: You Scratch My Back...

[bibliodragon]

Title: You Scratch My Back...
Characters: Mulder/Scully
Spoilers: Set sometime after the second movie.
Rating: Gen
Words: 338



A cow's head staring at her was not something Scully wanted to see first thing when she got home from a long hospital shift. It was sitting beside a blue cooler, on top of a pile of newspapers. It dripped.

"Mulder, why is there a cow's head defrosting on the table?"

"The postage was too expensive for the whole corpse."

God damn eBay! It was one thing when he kept adding porn to the collection she let him believe she didn't know about, but this was getting ridiculous.

"Dare I ask why you would want a dead cow?"

A lot of talk about cow mutilations in Arkansas. She really wanted to just sit down and relax, but had to admit it was nice to see him look excited. Even if it was about dead cows.

"Look, you can see that there are unusual wounds on the forehead here, looks surgical. Maybe the put an implant in it's brain."

"You must really be bored."

He smiled at her. "Hey, if I can't go to the X File, I'll bring the X File to me."

"Alright fine." She turned away so he wouldn't see the flicker of amusement on her face. "You knock yourself out."

Even before she turned back to look at him she knew he was doing his charming face at her. "Mulder, no, I just want to have a bath!"

"Scully, I need you on this, I can't do autopsies-"

"On a cow head!"

"Granted, it's a little unorthodox, but I think transporting human bodies through the US postal system is frowned upon. Oh come on Scully. In return I'll do anything you want me to."

She raised an eyebrow. "Anything?"

“Anything.” He smiled suggestively.

Knowing he was talking about sex, she made him do the dishes. She could get him to do the other stuff anyway.

She did find some metal fragments in the cows head, but they turned out to be from the front bumper of a Honda Civic. Mulder dropped and broke a plate.

Comments

[shelley6441.livejournal.com]

Aw! Mulder all excited about the possibility of an implant inside his cow head. I guess it beats sitting around clipping newspaper articles.

This made me smirk:

Oh come on Scully. In return I'll do anything you want me to."

She raised an eyebrow. "Anything?"

“Anything.” He smiled suggestively.

Knowing he was talking about sex, she made him do the dishes. She could get him to do the other stuff anyway.

hehe, Go Scully!

Thank you :D

[bibliodragon.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the feedback :).

[nehmet.livejournal.com]

You had me at

"Mulder, why is there a cow's head defrosting on the table?"

"The postage was too expensive for the whole corpse."

LOL! Thanks for a fun little fic!

[bibliodragon.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it :).

[themirrorofsin.livejournal.com]

Hehehe ah Mulder xD

[bibliodragon.livejournal.com]

I can imagine Mulder going quietly crazy in his room, thinking about growing another beard without aliens and monsters to chase.

[themirrorofsin.livejournal.com]

Lol that is easy to picture xD

[jessicalovescsi.livejournal.com]

Ha! As much as angst and sorrow fit the story of these two well, I can't get enough of humourous XF fic! It's such a nice change from the seriousness than usually follow them around.

Thanks for sharing! :D

[bibliodragon.livejournal.com]

They do angst so well, but they probably appreciate a break now and then ;).

[amalnahurriyeh.livejournal.com]

Poor Mulder--all he wants is an abducted cow!

This is really cute. :)

[bibliodragon.livejournal.com]

Growing a beard can only stave off boredom for so long.

Thanks.